I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Thursday, February 28, 2002
I remember a record of train songs that I had, which I used to play on my little orange record player. It had "Red Ball Express," which my father used to sing to me and which I loved (he gave me the record player, I remember; later he sang the Gershwins' "They Can't Take That Away from Me" which I loved even more; and I remember also once letting the turntable spin all night by accident: I was amazed by the continuity of time, that it should just have been going on without a break since I somehow thought the nights were absolute breaks between the days, until the first time I stayed up all night, which was like that skydiving discovery that there was a continuous trajectory from sky to ground; my parents were upset because they thought it was a fire hazard) "John Henry," and "Casey Jones." Later of course it resonated with the Grateful Dead Song "Casey Jones." Later also I tried to play Revolution #9 backwards on the record player. You could move the turntable counterclockwise by hand, and hear the needle singing unamplified. But there was nothing much to hear. I could hear "I buried Paul" though in "I am the Walrus." And we liked trying to creep ourselves out by pouring over the album material of Magical Mystery Tour and Sergeant Pepper. Luckily unlike UFOs I never really was committed to anything serious about Paul's being dead, and when I tried to get my father to feel a frisson about it and he told me it was just a gimmick I learned both the word and the concept by the way the Beatles obviously illustrated it.

I remember putting together a Heathkit Jr. They stopped making them a couple of years later. It all worked except the speaker, but I could listen to the radio I made through an earplug. I also built a "touch-operated capacitor."


posted by william 11:00 PM
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